It was time.
More than that, it was a good decision. The moment I landed in Paris, it hit me. Not traveling for almost 1,5 years, I got attached. I attached myself to Squamish, to BC, to its people, its mountains. Not a bad thing, I thought. Simply an observation.
On the topic of unattachment, I am no expert. But I might know a few things. I remember how hard it was always, for me to leave Argentina each time. That was and still is my first home, with my people. Every time I stepped on a plane to Europe, my heart got crushed. Europe never felt like home, more of a temporary destination. I was attached to Bariloche, I was attached to my people.
When I was 14 or 15 years old
When I was 14 or 15 years old, I was ready to leave my momma’s nest. I was ready to see the world. Nothing held me back at that point. I wasn’t attached to a single thing. Free as a bird, as they say. And I saw the world, with my own eyes. I traveled extensively, basing myself out of BC, but proudly roaming the world. Surfing, practicing yoga, exploring ayurvedic principles… Discovering different cultures, and most importantly myself. Diving deep into my life’s mission. I was always concerned about what my purpose is. How can one live without a purpose?
Until I realized something so simple. I have to do to live a purposeful life and make an impact is to do what I love. And love what I do. It turned everything around for me. I started focusing on micro-actions, on a macro scale. How can my day-to-day choices and lifestyle decisions, contribute to my higher self and eventually, a better world. By being conscious, those actions and steps towards my goals became more meaningful. Therefore my life’s purpose revealed itself to me, without even trying.
Unattaching myself from my own values
I divided people into two categories. Those who inspire me and those who do not. We have different values, as we naturally are a bunch of different human beings. No need to think my way is THE WAY. Losing the attachment to what I believe in, made me realize I don’t need to convince everyone else to align with my opinions, to make the world a better place. Rather surround me with people whose values naturally align with mine. And hopefully inspire each other to make the world a better place, through sports, our connection to nature, love for the Earth, and daily practices.
Living within my beliefs and values doesn’t have to mean I am married to the idea of how I see the world.
Like the seasons, I feel ever-changing, ever-evolving and fluidity is what matters to me now more than staying “true to myself”. If my true self constantly changes, grows, and evolves, to an outsider’s point of view, it may seem I’m not really living within my beliefs. Which doesn’t matter anymore. Other people’s opinions should be at the bottom of our list of worries.
When we can simply allow life to unfold naturally without being attached to outcomes, (beliefs, feelings or opinions), then we experience true non-attachment.
Unnattaching myself from places, things, people.
Ultimately, why do we want to practise non-attachment? “Non-attachment” sounds a bit intimidating, doesn’t it?
Unfortunately, most people tend to associate this spiritual phrase with being emotionally cold and unfeeling. But true non-attachment is quite the opposite. Tt allows us to live in this world fully, without being attached to people, things, or thoughts that create suffering.
Attachment is the origin, the root of suffering; hence it is the cause of suffering.
Dalai Lama
Unnattaching myself from my things, doesn’t mean I have to sell everything, go live in Tibet and stay silent for the rest of my days. To me, it means understanding the importance + the concept of letting go. Nothing is permanent in life, and that’s okay. I have seen the concept being explained in many times, studying the principels of Budhism and Taoism. At the end of the day, clinging to things, people or places isn’t healthy if you want to keep moving with your life’s flow. Our destiny (pre-determined or not, whatever you believe) should not be effected by material posesions or desires to stay in a certain place or with a certain people, just because we attached ourselves to them.
Speaking from a broad, day to day perspective/…
For me non-attachment is not about being a cold or emotionally dead brick wall. Instead, it’s about learning how to let go of the thoughts and emotions that create suffering. Once we can stop being so attached to our thoughts, we experience tremendous relief. Inner peace, and a pervading sense of joyful well-being.
So how do we let go of our thoughts and emotions? We must learn to observe and disentangle ourselves from our thoughts. I find this process being done, much easier through practices such as mindful awareness, meditation, and self-studying (journaling, talking to friends) and yoga.
Practising Non-attachment to goals, ideals, expectations
Woah, this one hits home right now. I’ve had, like every hungry 22 year old, big expectations for my season, two years in a row now. Events being canceled due to Covid, friends unable to visit because Canada wasn’t allowing visitors… walls and barriers, showing up every step of the way. Sometimes, I feel so disempowered, hopeless and lost. What is the next step?
It’s good to remind myself, that I don’t need to have these things figured out. It’s okay, to head into the season, do my best and see what happens. For a goal oriented, and end picture driven person, it’s hard sometimes, not to attach myself to an expectation of what my career or my path may look like.
Resd more: How To Set Big Goals Free Of Unhealthy Attachments
What are the benefits of non-attachment?
After doing some research, (thank you Loner Wolf), I made a list of benefits that come from non-attachment. When we stop clinging to internal and external phenomena, our whole relationship with life is different. Here is what may (or may not) happen when you learn how to practice acceptance and surrender:
- You will stop being controlled by your emotions, instead, you’ll become interested in them
- You won’t be attached to the outcome, meaning that you’ll be free from the dread, anxiety, and inner tension that comes with clinging to expectations
- Naturally more curious, open, and spontaneous because you have no predetermined desire or craving
- More peaceful and less neurotic, meaning that your relationships and friendships will drastically improve
- Feeling consistently relaxed and serene because you’re not identifying with your thoughts and feelings (and instead you’re witnessing them as a “passive observer”)
- You’ll be more resilient in the face of loss and death because you’re not attached to people and realize that all things are ephemeral
- Feel a sense of expansive freedom because you’re no longer a slave to the mind
- You’ll feel a sense of wholeness because you don’t need or want anything in particular, you’re happy just as you are in the present moment
- You’ll feel more love for yourself and others because you’re not attaching to beliefs and expectations about who you/others “should” be or what “shouldn’t” happen
- Experience more synchronicity as life unfolds effortlessly and naturally
- You’ll no longer be addicted to “getting” things or filling an empty hole in yourself because you’re content and don’t attach to the belief that someone or something will “complete” you
- It will help you feel more grounded and connected to life because you’re not lost in thought-based attachments
- Your mind will become clear and you’ll be able to perceive the truth more easily
- You’ll feel gratitude, love, compassion, and happiness permeate your life as you have let go of the need to chase happiness (which creates unhappiness)
☽ Follow me on Instagram – @alenkaamali – to see more of my adventures ☽
More about Alenka
“My name is Alenka and I’m a Squamish-based photographer and competitive freeride snowboarder. I love using my medium to capture sports, adventures, underwater shots, adventures in the mountains, and days on snow! Very simply put, I’m one stoked girl, ready to get up at 2 in the morning and hike for sunrise, go to the airport and take a random flight, jump off cliffs because I live for the thrill of it all!
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